“Those who have been far away from the Sacrament of Reconciliation and forgiving love I make this appeal: come back to this source of grace; Do not be afraid! Christ himself is waiting for you. He will heal you and you will be at peace with God.”
— Pope Saint John Paul II, San Antonio, Texas September 13, 1987
Preparing for the Sacrament of Penance
As you prepare for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, ask God the Holy Spirit’s help to examine your conscience well by prayerfully reviewing your conduct in light of the commandments and the example of Christ. The questions here should assist you in making a more thorough review. Tell the priest the specific kind of sins you have committed and, to the best of your ability, how frequently you have committed them since your last good confession.
To make a good confession, you need to confess any mortal (gravely serious) sins you have committed, since you can obtain forgiveness for your venial (smaller) sins by sacrifices, acts of charity, prayer and other pious actions. Confession of venial sins, however, is very helpful for avoiding sin and advancing in holiness toward Heaven. For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: “Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent” (CCC 1857). If you are in doubt about whether a sin is mortal or venial, mention it to the priest.
Remember that God loves you as a beloved son or daughter. The point of the Sacrament of Reconciliation is to be restored to a relationship of holiness with this God who loves you. So, as you examine your conscience, focus more on the “God of the commandments” than the “commandments of God.” Ask God the Holy Spirit to give you real sorrow for the sins you’ve committed out of love for God and a deep resolve, out of sorrow, to try never to commit these sins again.
That’s the way Jesus set it up on Easter Sunday evening. He told his apostles that just as God the Father had sent him (to forgive sins), so he was sending them. He breathed on them the power of the Holy Spirit, since only God can forgive sins, and told them that whatever sins they forgive are forgiven and whatever sins they retain are retained (Jn 20:21-23). Without the ability to read minds, the only way that they would know which to forgive and which to retain is if people told them their sins. Jesus thus established the essential structure of the sacrament of confession. Just as he uses priests to give us his Body and Blood at Mass so he uses them to give us His mercy in Penance.
Going to Confession
The penitent and the priest begin with the sign of the Cross, saying:
In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
The priest urges the penitent to have confidence in God with these or similar words:
May the Lord be in your heart and help you to confess your sins with true sorrow.
The priest may read or say a passage from Sacred Scripture after which the penitent then states:
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been (however many days, weeks, months or years) since my last confession.
The penitent then states his or her sins. For the confession to be valid, the penitent must confess all of the mortal sins he or she is aware of having committed since the last confession, be sorry for them, and have a firm purpose of amendment to try not to commit the same sins in the future.
After this, the priest will generally give some advice to the penitent and impose a penance. Then he will ask the penitent to make an act of contrition. The penitent may do so in his or her own words, or may say one of many memorized acts of contrition like the following:
Act of Contrition
O My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you, whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with the help of your grace, to do penance, to sin no more and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior, Jesus Christ, suffered and died for us. In His Name, O Lord, have mercy.
After this the priest will absolve the penitent in the following words:
God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son + and of the Holy Spirit.
The penitent makes the sign of the Cross and answers:
Amen.
The priest will then dismiss the penitent with a short prayer and encouragement. The penitent should then try to fulfill the penance imposed if it is something that can be done quickly.
Source: Fr. Roger Landry, Diocese of Fall River | Used with permission